5 Ways to politely Say “No” to a bride

Maybe you don’t have the time?

Or in this economy… the money. (Welcome to the club!)

Or maybe you just don’t want to!

How do you say no to being a bridesmaid or Maid of Honor and not hurt the brides’ feelings and ultimately ruin the relationship?


Should she have said no?

Should she have said no?     


#1 Be honest but be kind

Remember the bride has only wedding on the brain and maybe no reason you give her will be a good enough reason for you to miss her big day- even if you are pregnant and due to give birth on her wedding day! However, you owe it to her to be honest and bow out if you truly cannot afford it, are too far away, or feel that you won’t be up to all the tasks that will be expected of you.

#2 Be grateful for the request

This is a day she’s been dreaming of since she was a little girl and you have to be sensitive to that. Maybe she’s been picturing you by her side as she says her “I Do’s” since she was 5 years old. The fact that she’s chosen you above all her other friends and family to be part of her wedding is a great compliment and you should acknowledge that.

#3 Offer other ways of helping or being a part of the wedding

If your location, schedule or finances bar you from serving as a bridesmaid or Maid of Honor, you can still help out in other ways. Offer to attend fittings, help find resources on the internet for her, use your networks to find discounts, help with addressing invitations or making favors. Show her that you still care.

#4 Attend the pre-wedding and wedding events

Even if you can’t be a bridesmaid or Maid of Honor, you should still try your very best to attend at least one pre-wedding event like the bridal shower or bachelorette party. If you can’t afford a gift, be honest and come anyway. She’d rather have your presence there without a gift than having you stay away because you’re embarrassed.

#5 Offer support

This is one of the  happiest but most stressful times in the brides life. You can do her the biggest favor by just being there to comfort her, checking in by phone or email and trying to help her keep perspective. Ask her to come out for a pedicure, let her vent over coffee, rent movies and just stay in your living room talking about nothing wedding related. She’ll need a break from all the wedding craziness and having someone outside of the wedding party to act as an oasis will be greatly appreciated.

Remember, you don’t want to be the cause of wedding drama and you definitely don’t want to contribute to the breaking up of friendships over wedding duties. Sometimes saying No is the best gift you can give to a bride…

Wedding Trends: Bridesmaids Proposals

Let’s face it. Proposals of any kind mean more to women than they do to men.

That’s why when you are asking a question as important as this, why wouldn’t you spend a little extra time in making it special and memorable.

After all, there are few times in your life when you can shine a spotlight on the female friends who’ve had your back through thick and thin and ups and downs.

Being a bridesmaid and especially a Maid of Honor takes a lot of extra work, time and money. And often people don’t really realize how much work it takes and it can often go unappreciated.

That’s why a bride should show her appreciation for her friendship from the very start and do it through a bridesmaid proposal.

A few ways to do it are:

1. Send a card:

http://pinterest.com/pin/132574782750322157/ Pinned by Catie Martinhttp://www.thesweetestoccasion.com/2010/02/diy-will-you-be-my-bridesmaid-cards/

2. Send your friends on a brief scavenger hunt. Involve champagne, food and fun!

3. Make a sweet treat!

http://www.simply southerngirl.com/2011/07/will-you-be-my-bridesmaid.html

4. Send her a special “Care” package

5. Send a decadent dessert..

6. Prepare them for their big “I Do”

7. “Pop” the question, then pop the champagne!

8. Send an edible bouquet

9. Make it public

Buy advertising space at a local movie theater. Invite your girlfriends to the movies with you and show up early enough to be sitting in the theater with all your popcorn and drinks already. Have the theater show your words onscreen before the movie starts.


10. Have you seen Facebook Timeline?

Create something like this, only about your timeline as friends, complete with pictures of you and your friend, places you’ve been, funny stories or memories and even interviews of people who know you and your friend (2), end the short video with “Will you be my bridesmaid?”

Will you be my Bridesmaid?

Found a great Idea to propose to your bridesmaids on

Wedding Bee, a great site for all things wedding.

Personalized cards have a card highlighting why the bride chose her, what her expectations are, what the duties are and other useful info.

Materials you’ll need

Join two red envelopes end to end connecting at the flap. Cover the flap with the ornamental black and white paper. 

Find the full description at


Beautiful Picnic Bridesmaid Proposal

Blog “Make it Modern” had this beautiful picnic idea as a setting to ask “Will you be my bridesmaid…”

See all the beautiful photos at http://moderninthemaking.blogspot.com/search/label/bridesmaid